The Courtship of a Job

Four weeks ago today, I was interviewed for a job at Starbucks. Today, I got the job. It's been a long time in the making... much longer than 4 weeks. Four years ago, I would estimate, is when I started thinking about working at Starbucks. Different location then. I picked up an application a couple of times... but never turned one in. Early this year was the first time I turned one in. Then I turned in a second application to the same store. Shortly afterwards, I got the interview.

I went to Starbucks this morning much like I went to Starbucks last Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. The week before last saw me there several times as well. In addition to enjoying delicious coffee, I was there with obvious motive. And if I wasn't stopping by on my way somewhere, I brought Atlas Shrugged and would spend some time just sitting, reading. This book just gets more and more amazing.

Today, I knew I was going to hear something either way. I arrived to find that yet another friend is now working at this store. I sat and read a little and Lucia came to sit with me while she was on her break. We talked about, yes, Starbucks and then my phone rang. But my phone doesn't work as phones should and I was forced to hang up. Luckily, the guy calling me was in the same building and Lucia went to get him. The conversation was held in person rather than over a cell phone that doesn't work.

I saw two of my GIS professors there today. A friend that used to work there was a GIS major and now there will be another GIS barista. Who knew this Starbucks would become such a GIS hub?

Praise God! He answers prayers and is sovereign in His provision. He has absolutely no sense of timing, though. That is not an insult... He is just outside of time. I've stopped trying to understand that concept... but I look forward to when I can experience that for myself.

I start next Tuesday.

Living in my head

I'd like to think that moods are far more temporary than "funks." I think funks might be moods that have settled and have lasted far to long to still be classified as moods but are not necessarily permanent. I think my current mood is, perhaps, a bit down. Several reasons claim responsibility, some of which I won't get into. I wouldn't call this a funk, though. But I'm willing to bet that it will lead to one soon. Often times, when I feel down like this, it leads to a melancholy and you know how I feel about my melancholies (if you don't know... I love them).

I don't usually talk about my "feelings" like I'm going to right now... but I'm strangely in the mood to do so.

I just got back from a vacation to the beach. It was a great time with my family. On top of that, I have much to be thankful for. My future work circumstances seem to be heading in a wonderful direction (although nothing official yet). I've gotten to spend some quality time with some good friends lately. I've begun reading a book that a quarter of the way into it has already started to affect the way I think.

Why do I feel as if I've stepped under a cloud? I reckon it is a combination of things. First of all, I miss some people. I have never been able to tell if I am more of an "out of sight, out of mind" person or an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" type. I have come to believe that I am a hybrid of both. I think it can be summed up by "out of sight, out of mind... until a prolonged absence makes my heart wrench for those I've lost personal contact with."

What else? I've been busy this week. That may be the lamest reason in the universe to get to feeling down... but it's just that, a reason and not an excuse. When I feel like I don't have time to decompress from the day's events, my mood suffers afterwards... even subconsciously. And any time when I start feeling this way, I'm a bit more sensitive to aggression. Not sensitive emotionally, but sensitive spiritually, if that makes any sense. I retreat a little deeper into my shell.

Forlorn aside, there is also a sense of melancholy... which is what I expect this to fully grow into... a funk-sized melancholy. I've been noticeably more introspective lately. God has been showing me some things about dealing with myself and dealing with others, especially when people present themselves unpleasantly. Oswald Chambers has a lot of good things to say about that in My Utmost for His Highest. I'm trying something new with unpleasant people.

Another reason for more introspection is Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I've always wanted to read this but never gave myself the chance. I'd say to myself, "If you ever want to read another book again, you best not start it, since you'll be reading it for the rest of your life."

Who Is John Galt? This isn't the question I ask myself... but the book has led me to think differently about what I am sensing and feeling. I think more about the natural contradictions inside my thoughts and I take pause to fully grasp what I'm thinking. It opens up a new world when you stop and digest what you're thinking and feeling at the moment.

I've never experienced a melancholy in the summertime before. I'd like to know more about the correlation between my moods, funks and the seasons... but I'm afraid I have no answers there. Last week, I expected the melancholy to start when I was at the beach. It didn't. It was a shock mid-week when I realized that nothing had happened. I thought that a vacation of more solitude than ever before would surely ring that in. My parents and I were the only ones there until late Tuesday when my brother and sister-in-law came down until Friday. I figured I would have more time to myself, more independence, more melancholy. I jumped the gun on that one.

By the way, I've already started planning a few future posts... some about film, some about music, some with pictures and some with general stuff I'm learning.

I hope this melancholy helps me with my writing. I haven't worked on any films in a long time and that is partially due to inaction and partially due to computer troubles. My laptop was fixed and now it's not. It's a hard enough struggle getting things out of my head and onto paper (or computer screen), but it's even harder when I am willing but can't due to unstable technology.

I guess this post (more like a ramble) is a little insight into my present state of mind. If you have read it all, you may now congratulate yourself for surviving what I am sure is one of the more tiresome things you've read in a long time.

And buy new Coldplay album. It's fantastic.